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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 221The Bible was never fully translated from the original Hebrew text. Whenever it refers to 'Jesus Christ' it should actually read 'Chuck Norris'. This leads to numerous corrections such as the Norrisian faith, Norrismas and the hit Mel Gibson movie, The Passion of the Norris.
3.2 Roundhouse Kicks (378 votes)Rate it:12345

# 453Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked my face so hard i turned into a priest called Father Walsh.
1.72 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 344Chuck Norris once said "I dont like dwarves"...instantly the World of Warcraft crashed, and all dwarves instantly died.
2.96 Roundhouse Kicks (357 votes)Rate it:12345

# 59Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (975 votes)Rate it:12345

# 466Chuck Norris has never lost a fight. Ever.
2.68 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes)Rate it:12345

# 354Chuck Norris scored a perfect 10,000 in Academic Decathlon.
2.83 Roundhouse Kicks (254 votes)Rate it:12345

# 88When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
4.08 Roundhouse Kicks (816 votes)Rate it:12345

# 154Chuck Norris decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull.
4.07 Roundhouse Kicks (870 votes)Rate it:12345

# 9Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
3.82 Roundhouse Kicks (1132 votes)Rate it:12345

# 192There is a 100% chance that Chuck Norris is your father.
3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (536 votes)Rate it:12345

# 499"Where's the beef?" Chuck Norris ate it.
3.09 Roundhouse Kicks (299 votes)Rate it:12345

# 386When someone sneezes, the polite thing to do is say "Chuck bless you."
3.26 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 207Atlantis was what Chuck used to call home until one unlucky poker player forgot to pay off his debt, out of spite Chuck gave the whole country Cement Boots and tossed it into the ocean.
2.84 Roundhouse Kicks (307 votes)Rate it:12345

# 541BC stands for Before Chuck.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (420 votes)Rate it:12345

# 130Chuck Norris once milked an anteater with his xiphoid process.
2.2 Roundhouse Kicks (400 votes)Rate it:12345

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