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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2037 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1777 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2728 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 294Chuck Norris had one great battle in his life- with a hurricane named Chuck Norris. Of course, Chuck Norris round-house kicked the hurricane to death.
2.84 Roundhouse Kicks (287 votes)Rate it:12345

# 479All life on earth is carbon-based, with one exception: Chuck Norris. His organic structure is based on Norrisilium, an element found only within Chuck Norris. Norrisilium has an atomic weight of 156, and is believed to be formed when two platinum atoms are spin-kicked together in the presence of a beard catalyst.
3.53 Roundhouse Kicks (288 votes)Rate it:12345

# 525We are a figment of Chuck Norris's imagination.
3.52 Roundhouse Kicks (343 votes)Rate it:12345

# 325The Death Star in Star Wars is in fact one of Chuck Norris' eyeball.
2.95 Roundhouse Kicks (340 votes)Rate it:12345

# 250Chuck Norris made his first million dollars drilling for oil. With his penis.
3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (442 votes)Rate it:12345

# 550All your base are belong to Chuck Norris.
3.11 Roundhouse Kicks (354 votes)Rate it:12345

# 337When women say it's "that time of the month," they just mean Chuck Norris is coming over. The bleeding is normal.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (612 votes)Rate it:12345

# 76There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
3.81 Roundhouse Kicks (489 votes)Rate it:12345

# 208Neil Armstrong didn't get to the moon on a spaceship, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him there after almost losing a game of poker.
3.22 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 548Insurance policies will not cover Acts of Chuck.
3.94 Roundhouse Kicks (396 votes)Rate it:12345

# 183When Chuck Norris was born, he had already had sex, three times.
3.74 Roundhouse Kicks (452 votes)Rate it:12345

# 51Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
4.11 Roundhouse Kicks (816 votes)Rate it:12345

# 241Every time i think of Chuck Norris... it counts as a time I've had sex!
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (409 votes)Rate it:12345

# 560Chuck Norris roundhoused the whale in London.
2.22 Roundhouse Kicks (304 votes)Rate it:12345

# 510Chuck Norris' sneezes are of such power that the National Weather Service names them. The last two were named Katrina and Rita.
3.82 Roundhouse Kicks (304 votes)Rate it:12345

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