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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 507They are only friendly skies when Chuck Norris isn't flying.
3.49 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)Rate it:12345

# 23Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (1050 votes)Rate it:12345

# 914Chuck Norris once swallowed a quarter and shit out 2 dimes and a nickle
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (928 votes)Rate it:12345

# 650Chuck Norris went to New Orleans and had sex with all the women there at once. When there were no women left, it angered Chuck Norris and he Roundhoused kicked the ocean, causing Hurricane Katrina.
3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (350 votes)Rate it:12345

# 589Chuck Norris passed over to the other side with a roundhouse kick and saw God. And he wasn't even impressed.
2.99 Roundhouse Kicks (283 votes)Rate it:12345

# 613Chuck Norris once sued Gillette because Chuck Norris is the best a man can get.
4.05 Roundhouse Kicks (456 votes)Rate it:12345

# 41Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1409 votes)Rate it:12345

# 337When women say it's "that time of the month," they just mean Chuck Norris is coming over. The bleeding is normal.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (612 votes)Rate it:12345

# 590Chuck Norris uses Anthrax like baby powder.
3.79 Roundhouse Kicks (374 votes)Rate it:12345

# 450Jesus is the only person in history who was not killed by Chuck Norris; when Chuck Norris kills someone, they stay dead.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (531 votes)Rate it:12345

# 257Chuck Norris technically flunked High School, not because of grades, but because he had to roundhouse kick every teacher because of their insolence. They still gave him a High School Diploma and a free PhD just to smooth things over.
3.61 Roundhouse Kicks (425 votes)Rate it:12345

# 7Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (3142 votes)Rate it:12345

# 463Black holes are just the places in the sky that Chuck Norris punched.
3.56 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes)Rate it:12345

# 116Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
4.06 Roundhouse Kicks (577 votes)Rate it:12345

# 234Chuck Norris' mayonaise covered hot dog bun is the Olympics' half pipe.
1.93 Roundhouse Kicks (391 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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