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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.37 Roundhouse Kicks (2027 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1460 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1774 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (614 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 154Chuck Norris decided it was a good idea to bottle his urine. We’ve come to know it as Red Bull.
4.07 Roundhouse Kicks (870 votes)Rate it:12345

# 388If you are not like Chuck Norris go hang from a damn tree.
1.91 Roundhouse Kicks (468 votes)Rate it:12345

# 295Chuck Norris admits his penis in only 2 inches...........from the ground
3.79 Roundhouse Kicks (426 votes)Rate it:12345

# 299Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 countries.
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (441 votes)Rate it:12345

# 663Chuck Norris KNOWS what's in Al Capone's Tomb because he put it there.
3.37 Roundhouse Kicks (301 votes)Rate it:12345

# 340Chuck Norris, is my baby's daddy.
2.3 Roundhouse Kicks (395 votes)Rate it:12345

# 24Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and knew karate.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (2746 votes)Rate it:12345

# 36When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (1281 votes)Rate it:12345

# 56When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (440 votes)Rate it:12345

# 628Chuck Norris is not God. God took six days to create the world - Chuck Norris would have done it in two: one day of staring at the terrifed void, and one of roundhouse kicks.
3.29 Roundhouse Kicks (290 votes)Rate it:12345

# 125They call it 9/11 because that is the ratio of Chuck Norris' ratio of roundhouse kicks to num-chucks he stores in his ass.
2.2 Roundhouse Kicks (488 votes)Rate it:12345

# 179When someone sneezes, God says Chuck Bless you.
3.77 Roundhouse Kicks (426 votes)Rate it:12345

# 224Basically he is a Keanu Reeves
1.38 Roundhouse Kicks (729 votes)Rate it:12345

# 629Do you know why they call riding in the passenger seat shotgun? Because 'Roundhouse Kick to the face' is too long to say.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (324 votes)Rate it:12345

# 607In Grand Theft Auto San Andreas the original character you were supposed to play as was Chuck Norris. But the game was so wicked awesome that when people played it they started to uncontrollably orgasm so much that the room would fill up with semen and the user would drown in his own sperm.
3.25 Roundhouse Kicks (444 votes)Rate it:12345

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