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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1460 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1775 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (617 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 195People say an apple a day keeps the doctor away - they are wrong because an apple a day does not keep Chuck Norris away submitted by arclite
2.31 Roundhouse Kicks (401 votes)Rate it:12345

# 549The First World War started when someone insulted Chuck's mother. It finished when Chuck damn well said it was finished.
4.04 Roundhouse Kicks (323 votes)Rate it:12345

# 553Everytime you masturbate, Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicks a kitten.
3.92 Roundhouse Kicks (533 votes)Rate it:12345

# 40There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (3183 votes)Rate it:12345

# 132Chuck Norris can lick his elbow and rhyme with orange at the same time.
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (574 votes)Rate it:12345

# 395Jesus is the Son of God; The beard gives it away.
2.86 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 282The Titanic movie was supposed to have a happy ending. However when Chuck Norris learned he had been beaten out for the starring role by Leonardo DiCaprio, he went back in time and roundhouse kicked a huge hole in the ship.
3.64 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 74When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
3.44 Roundhouse Kicks (424 votes)Rate it:12345

# 164God believes in Chuck Norris.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (605 votes)Rate it:12345

# 350Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (362 votes)Rate it:12345

# 514Trevette wasn't naturally black... He's bruised all over his body by Chuck Norris.
3.49 Roundhouse Kicks (253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 210Chuck Norris is so tough that he chooses to eat from his ass, digest upwards and shit from his face.
2.38 Roundhouse Kicks (428 votes)Rate it:12345

# 399ZZ Top were a Chuck Norris tribute band until he roundhouse kicked them for not being hairy enough.
3.04 Roundhouse Kicks (275 votes)Rate it:12345

# 57For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (992 votes)Rate it:12345

# 353Once while walking through the west Chuck Norris took a shit and created the Rocky Mountains.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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