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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.36 Roundhouse Kicks (2030 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1460 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1775 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (616 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 574It wasn't the the Death Star that destroyed Alderaan, it was a single roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris that silenced those million voices in Obi-wan's head.
3.25 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)Rate it:12345

# 493Chuck Norris plays baseball with his cock.
2.89 Roundhouse Kicks (358 votes)Rate it:12345

# 399ZZ Top were a Chuck Norris tribute band until he roundhouse kicked them for not being hairy enough.
3.04 Roundhouse Kicks (275 votes)Rate it:12345

# 222Chuck Norris' Cunnilingus is equal to a 9.4 on the Richter scale.
3.25 Roundhouse Kicks (335 votes)Rate it:12345

# 591Chuck Norris eats turds like us for breakfast.
2.3 Roundhouse Kicks (292 votes)Rate it:12345

# 917Chuck Norris is the world hot dog eating champion, because he ate that japanese guy and now wears his old belt.
3.47 Roundhouse Kicks (729 votes)Rate it:12345

# 595General Swartzkopf once saw Chuck Norris in K-Mart wearing an American Flag wifebeater. He now refuses to salute anyone else.
3.42 Roundhouse Kicks (571 votes)Rate it:12345

# 287The only person that Chuck considers his equal is Boba Fett. But since Boba Fett isn't real, NO ONE IS CHUCK'S EQUAL.
2.83 Roundhouse Kicks (418 votes)Rate it:12345

# 177Before e-mail was invented, Chuck Norris would attatch messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them to their destination.
4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (895 votes)Rate it:12345

# 17Chuck Norris doesn't get diseases. Diseases get Chuck Norris.
3.7 Roundhouse Kicks (626 votes)Rate it:12345

# 4The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
4.06 Roundhouse Kicks (1397 votes)Rate it:12345

# 134Chuck Norris has his own HTML code. It is <roundhouse kick="in your face">
2.81 Roundhouse Kicks (439 votes)Rate it:12345

# 485When Chuck Norris was born his parents knew he was destined to be a legend. Probably b/c he had facial hair and delivered a RoundHouse Kick to his Doctors face causing him to die on contact.
3.23 Roundhouse Kicks (283 votes)Rate it:12345

# 173Hockey players, football players, soldiers, and yes women, never had to wear pads before Chuck Norris was born.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 628Chuck Norris is not God. God took six days to create the world - Chuck Norris would have done it in two: one day of staring at the terrifed void, and one of roundhouse kicks.
3.29 Roundhouse Kicks (290 votes)Rate it:12345

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