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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 560Chuck Norris roundhoused the whale in London.
2.22 Roundhouse Kicks (304 votes)Rate it:12345

# 199Jimmy Hendrix did not die of a drug overdose. He happened to walk into the empty bar Chuck Norris was playing guitar at and promptly died.
3.04 Roundhouse Kicks (342 votes)Rate it:12345

# 42If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 27Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1102 votes)Rate it:12345

# 44Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
2.3 Roundhouse Kicks (623 votes)Rate it:12345

# 629Do you know why they call riding in the passenger seat shotgun? Because 'Roundhouse Kick to the face' is too long to say.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (324 votes)Rate it:12345

# 4The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
4.06 Roundhouse Kicks (1397 votes)Rate it:12345

# 23Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (1050 votes)Rate it:12345

# 391Chuck Norris has mini AK-47's behind his eyeballs. So NEVER on any occasion look him in the eyes. Though... he may take this offensively and Roundhouse Kick the shit out of you.
2.91 Roundhouse Kicks (324 votes)Rate it:12345

# 248The first proposal for the Manhattan Project was containing the energy output of a Roundhouse Kick produced by Chuck Norris, upon testing they found this method much too cruel and too powerful, they then created the Atom Bomb, Chuck Norris is the only current holder of the only CNRHK (Chuck Norris RoundHouse Kick) Bomb Mark 1 created, he threatens the U.N. with it on a daily basis, each time demanding they all "Get into the fuckin' kitchen and make me some sandwiches".
3.5 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 546Chuck Norris need not fear the bed bugs' bite, bed bugs fear Chuck Norris's roundhouse.
3.18 Roundhouse Kicks (272 votes)Rate it:12345

# 632Chuck Noris doesn't use the force, he is the force.
3.83 Roundhouse Kicks (389 votes)Rate it:12345

# 630Chuck Norris can be divided by zero
3.67 Roundhouse Kicks (393 votes)Rate it:12345

# 559Between 1933 and 1945, 5.5 million Jews died because Chuck Norris didn't like his bagel.
3.38 Roundhouse Kicks (422 votes)Rate it:12345

# 285As soon as Chuck Norris was conceived he immediately burst out of his mother, roundhouse kicking both his parents in the face, killing them instantly. No-one knows why. Chuck Norris does.
3.27 Roundhouse Kicks (333 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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