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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 29Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (1047 votes)Rate it:12345

# 568One may score perfectly on the SATs simply by writing Chuck Norris's name in the Answer Booklet.
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes)Rate it:12345

# 453Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked my face so hard i turned into a priest called Father Walsh.
1.72 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 89The book of the bible "Revelation" is really what will happen should we anger Chuck Norris.
3.66 Roundhouse Kicks (467 votes)Rate it:12345

# 229While visiting Europe, early in the 19th century, Chuck Norris was spotted by Dracula. Hoping to convert Chuck Norris into a vampire, and thus ensure the survival of vampires for all eternity, Dracula attempted to drink Chuck Norris's blood. Instead of turning Chuck into a vampire, Dracula turned into a copy of Chuck Norris. But that created a riff in the space time continuum, resulting in a Chuck Norris black hole, which sucked up the original Chuck Norris. However, Chuck quickly gave the black hole a roundhouse kick, defeating it utterly. Chuck Norris wrote an account of this incident, and it was later adapted into the movie Star Trek IV.
3.07 Roundhouse Kicks (433 votes)Rate it:12345

# 347Chuck Norris can rip Gorillas in half with his eyelids.
3.44 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 20Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.
3.34 Roundhouse Kicks (534 votes)Rate it:12345

# 64Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
3.47 Roundhouse Kicks (498 votes)Rate it:12345

# 633Chuck Noris wrote the Bible.
2.48 Roundhouse Kicks (394 votes)Rate it:12345

# 664Chuck Norris didn't fail High School. High School failed Chuck Norris.
3.67 Roundhouse Kicks (391 votes)Rate it:12345

# 660Chuck Norris is the only man to ever successfully divide by 0.
3.91 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

# 544Chuck Norris can turn back time by looking at a clock and flexing.
3.75 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 129Earthquakes dont happen from plate tectonics. but from chuck norris taking a crap.
3.5 Roundhouse Kicks (444 votes)Rate it:12345

# 152God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (980 votes)Rate it:12345

# 435Chuck Norris has caught his shadow.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (450 votes)Rate it:12345

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