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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.37 Roundhouse Kicks (2027 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1639 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1460 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1774 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (614 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 366Chuck Norris has recently bought steel-tipped boots. Steel-Tipped Boots + The Side Of Your Face = You're Fucking Dead
2.99 Roundhouse Kicks (340 votes)Rate it:12345

# 467It took 10 days and 4 women to give birth to Chuck Norris.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (824 votes)Rate it:12345

# 68Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
3.22 Roundhouse Kicks (423 votes)Rate it:12345

# 52One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (1312 votes)Rate it:12345

# 192There is a 100% chance that Chuck Norris is your father.
3.93 Roundhouse Kicks (536 votes)Rate it:12345

# 93Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (2699 votes)Rate it:12345

# 489When Chuck Norris plays Battleship, all of the ships sink themselves in fear.
3.83 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 140All the wars in the history of mankind would have been prevented if Chuck Norris wasn't having sex during all of them. Out of all of the people who have tried to stop Chuck Norris from having sex, not one of their bodies was found intact.
2.95 Roundhouse Kicks (332 votes)Rate it:12345

# 221The Bible was never fully translated from the original Hebrew text. Whenever it refers to 'Jesus Christ' it should actually read 'Chuck Norris'. This leads to numerous corrections such as the Norrisian faith, Norrismas and the hit Mel Gibson movie, The Passion of the Norris.
3.2 Roundhouse Kicks (378 votes)Rate it:12345

# 307Chuck Norris does not do infomercials. He does, buy this fucking product or I'll kill youmercials.
3.04 Roundhouse Kicks (336 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3197 votes)Rate it:12345

# 207Atlantis was what Chuck used to call home until one unlucky poker player forgot to pay off his debt, out of spite Chuck gave the whole country Cement Boots and tossed it into the ocean.
2.84 Roundhouse Kicks (307 votes)Rate it:12345

# 526My Bologna has a first name. Chuck Norris.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (298 votes)Rate it:12345

# 435Chuck Norris has caught his shadow.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (450 votes)Rate it:12345

# 43The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (847 votes)Rate it:12345

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