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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1640 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (618 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2725 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 353Once while walking through the west Chuck Norris took a shit and created the Rocky Mountains.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

# 490Chuck Norris once visited the Galapagos Islands. This is why we have giant fucking turtles.
3.33 Roundhouse Kicks (312 votes)Rate it:12345

# 354Chuck Norris scored a perfect 10,000 in Academic Decathlon.
2.83 Roundhouse Kicks (254 votes)Rate it:12345

# 675the only thing that can kill Chuck Norris is the combined effort of Gandalf the Grey, Gandal the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grial's Black Night, and Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. And they'd still need the element of surprise.
3.98 Roundhouse Kicks (1110 votes)Rate it:12345

# 120Some people called the Vietnam War a tragedy. Chuck Norris called it foreplay.
3.88 Roundhouse Kicks (489 votes)Rate it:12345

# 304Chuck Norris once visited China. This is why they have slanty eyes.
3.08 Roundhouse Kicks (405 votes)Rate it:12345

# 95They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1850 votes)Rate it:12345

# 557Why is Chuck Norris roundhousing the moon? Because he can.
2.75 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

# 68Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
3.22 Roundhouse Kicks (423 votes)Rate it:12345

# 609Chuck Norris once took a crap and it kicked Jean Claude Van Damme's ass.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (353 votes)Rate it:12345

# 446When asked whether his favorite way of killing people was with his fists, feet, or innocent bystanders, Chuck Norris answered, "Both."
3.42 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)Rate it:12345

# 2400The year was 1979 a meteor was hurling towards earth. It suddenly stopped at the site of Chuck Norris. It asked Chuck Norris for his autograph, then Chuck Norris roundhoused kicked it back to space.
2.53 Roundhouse Kicks (1005 votes)Rate it:12345

# 658Chuck Norris craps bigger than you, literally, it is bigger than you.
2.97 Roundhouse Kicks (326 votes)Rate it:12345

# 124Chuck Norris once shoved a ficus-tree up his ass when he took a shit he made individual ficus-balls.
2.27 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 587Chuck Norris is so gangsta, he wears a shirt with his own face on it.
2.91 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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