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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2726 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 286To scare the living shit outta everyone, Chuck Norris went out to an island in the Pacific, and roundhouse kicked a palm tree. The ensuing explosion created enough heat to surpass that of the center of the sun, melting the sand and vaporizing the water a mile out. Promptly, the U.S. covered up the incident by calling it a "Hydrogen Bomb Test" and claiming responsibility.
3.56 Roundhouse Kicks (308 votes)Rate it:12345

# 93Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (2699 votes)Rate it:12345

# 215The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything isn't 42; here's a hint: it begins with Chuck and ends with a roundhouse kick to the face.
3.52 Roundhouse Kicks (321 votes)Rate it:12345

# 394I will win the Mega Million Dollar Lottery every day for a month before you survive a Chuck Norris Round House Kick. (CNRhK)
2.71 Roundhouse Kicks (285 votes)Rate it:12345

# 291Chuck Norris once built a space station out of debris from his beard. Upon completion, Norris roundhouse kicked it into space with him on it. Soon after, CATS showed up to steal Chuck's beard-station. Just before he could finish saying, "All your base are belong to us," CATS received a roundhouse kick to the face, sending him sailing into space. After that, Chuck said, "All your face are belong to Chuck!" CATS received severe brain damage from the incident, was rendered handicapped from the neck down, and now tries to earn an honest living as a florist.
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (364 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2726 votes)Rate it:12345

# 188Chuck Norris was once annoyed by a man named Dennis Dafoe, so annoyed in fact that Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face. The sheer power of the kick was strong enough to spit Dennis Dafoe into two separate men. The world now knows them as Dennis Leary and William Dafoe.
3.58 Roundhouse Kicks (494 votes)Rate it:12345

# 570Chuck Norris doesn't have any mirrors in his house, he's afraid of the concequences.
2.68 Roundhouse Kicks (295 votes)Rate it:12345

# 348Chuck Norris puts the Kill in Skill.
3.73 Roundhouse Kicks (367 votes)Rate it:12345

# 133Once Chuck Norris was sitting on a park bench. There were two guys with cell phones sitting there with him. The first guy had a Sprint phone, and the second guy had a Nextel phone. Both guys go "Hey, Chuck, you suck!" Then Chuck roundhouse kicked both of their faces at the same time. You know the rest.
1.82 Roundhouse Kicks (590 votes)Rate it:12345

# 561Years ago, Chuck Norris woke up because a T-Rex made loud noises...
2.6 Roundhouse Kicks (306 votes)Rate it:12345

# 568One may score perfectly on the SATs simply by writing Chuck Norris's name in the Answer Booklet.
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (352 votes)Rate it:12345

# 277The last summon in Final Fantasy 7 was Chuck Norris, but during beta testing, testers discovered that upon summoning, he roundhouse kicks the enemy, then your party, and then he comes out of the screen and roundhouse kicks you. Square lost so many employees as a result that they were forced to merge with Enix to make up for the loss.
3.28 Roundhouse Kicks (476 votes)Rate it:12345

# 739TCIF...Thank Chuck it's Friday
3.27 Roundhouse Kicks (709 votes)Rate it:12345

# 507They are only friendly skies when Chuck Norris isn't flying.
3.49 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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