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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 643School lockers were originaly created to keep a teenage Chuck Norris from taking your stuff; they failed miserably and now have to contain the one thing Chuck Norris hates in school. School equipment.
2.87 Roundhouse Kicks (326 votes)Rate it:12345

# 193You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? Well actually if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
2.88 Roundhouse Kicks (328 votes)Rate it:12345

# 449Chuck Norris has fixed every Superbowl by simply telling the team that he did not bet on, that he did not bet on them. It goes without saying that he has also won every Superbowl bet that he has ever made.
3.11 Roundhouse Kicks (238 votes)Rate it:12345

# 286To scare the living shit outta everyone, Chuck Norris went out to an island in the Pacific, and roundhouse kicked a palm tree. The ensuing explosion created enough heat to surpass that of the center of the sun, melting the sand and vaporizing the water a mile out. Promptly, the U.S. covered up the incident by calling it a "Hydrogen Bomb Test" and claiming responsibility.
3.56 Roundhouse Kicks (308 votes)Rate it:12345

# 163Chuck Norris once had sex with a nun in Alabama. He was in Texas at the time.
4.02 Roundhouse Kicks (573 votes)Rate it:12345

# 391Chuck Norris has mini AK-47's behind his eyeballs. So NEVER on any occasion look him in the eyes. Though... he may take this offensively and Roundhouse Kick the shit out of you.
2.91 Roundhouse Kicks (324 votes)Rate it:12345

# 434In Soviet Russia Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you.
2.31 Roundhouse Kicks (323 votes)Rate it:12345

# 526My Bologna has a first name. Chuck Norris.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (298 votes)Rate it:12345

# 210Chuck Norris is so tough that he chooses to eat from his ass, digest upwards and shit from his face.
2.38 Roundhouse Kicks (428 votes)Rate it:12345

# 914Chuck Norris once swallowed a quarter and shit out 2 dimes and a nickle
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (928 votes)Rate it:12345

# 56When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (440 votes)Rate it:12345

# 587Chuck Norris is so gangsta, he wears a shirt with his own face on it.
2.91 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 256Chuck Norris doesn't like drugs, so he roundhouses them in the face and out of America.
1.88 Roundhouse Kicks (406 votes)Rate it:12345

# 15Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
3.56 Roundhouse Kicks (647 votes)Rate it:12345

# 115Chuck Norris does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (988 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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