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Facts 46 through 59: <= Prev Next =>
# 46Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
3.72 Roundhouse Kicks (588 votes)Rate it:12345

# 47Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (3163 votes)Rate it:12345

# 48Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1083 votes)Rate it:12345

# 49When Chuck Norris plays Red Rover, he walks over to the other line, roundhouse-kicks the first person, watches them all fall over in a domino, and screams out "Norris is over".
3.31 Roundhouse Kicks (435 votes)Rate it:12345

# 50Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 51Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
4.11 Roundhouse Kicks (816 votes)Rate it:12345

# 52One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (1312 votes)Rate it:12345

# 53When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1160 votes)Rate it:12345

# 54When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
3.51 Roundhouse Kicks (482 votes)Rate it:12345

# 55Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
3.71 Roundhouse Kicks (533 votes)Rate it:12345

# 56When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (440 votes)Rate it:12345

# 57For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (992 votes)Rate it:12345

# 58Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (577 votes)Rate it:12345

# 59Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (975 votes)Rate it:12345

# 60When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
3.57 Roundhouse Kicks (450 votes)Rate it:12345

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