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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2726 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 16Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (768 votes)Rate it:12345

# 286To scare the living shit outta everyone, Chuck Norris went out to an island in the Pacific, and roundhouse kicked a palm tree. The ensuing explosion created enough heat to surpass that of the center of the sun, melting the sand and vaporizing the water a mile out. Promptly, the U.S. covered up the incident by calling it a "Hydrogen Bomb Test" and claiming responsibility.
3.56 Roundhouse Kicks (308 votes)Rate it:12345

# 479All life on earth is carbon-based, with one exception: Chuck Norris. His organic structure is based on Norrisilium, an element found only within Chuck Norris. Norrisilium has an atomic weight of 156, and is believed to be formed when two platinum atoms are spin-kicked together in the presence of a beard catalyst.
3.53 Roundhouse Kicks (288 votes)Rate it:12345

# 246When Chuck Norris plays Uno he wins by two.
3.77 Roundhouse Kicks (349 votes)Rate it:12345

# 320Chuck Norris performs low-budget male to female sex changes by roundhouse kicking a man so hard in the crotch that he becomes a woman. This operation has a 100% success rate, and is costs only as much as you happen to be carrying on you when Chuck drops you like a bag of dirt and takes your wallet.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (320 votes)Rate it:12345

# 454Marvin Gaye's song "Sexual Healing" is actually written from a previous encounter with Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick, "its getting longer, and stronger".
2.56 Roundhouse Kicks (274 votes)Rate it:12345

# 467It took 10 days and 4 women to give birth to Chuck Norris.
4.12 Roundhouse Kicks (824 votes)Rate it:12345

# 367People say Bruce Lee trained Chuck Norris. The truth is Chuck Norris went back in time and trained Bruce Lee, because the only man who can train Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
3.86 Roundhouse Kicks (378 votes)Rate it:12345

# 542Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press aroud 1440. Why? So the entire world would know the name: Chuck Norris.
3.35 Roundhouse Kicks (279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 465Chuck Norris can create hand shadows that can roundhouse kick you to death.
3.75 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 76There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
3.81 Roundhouse Kicks (489 votes)Rate it:12345

# 148Santa Claus once put Chuck Norris on the Naughty List. This is why there is no Santa.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (1339 votes)Rate it:12345

# 112Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with an AK-47 and won.
4.16 Roundhouse Kicks (1144 votes)Rate it:12345

# 541BC stands for Before Chuck.
3.96 Roundhouse Kicks (420 votes)Rate it:12345

# 217The Vietnam war wasn't because of Communism, but Vietnam hadn't paid their dues to Chuck Norris
3.17 Roundhouse Kicks (323 votes)Rate it:12345

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