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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2345 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2726 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 260The civil war did not stop racism ... Chuck norris did.
3.54 Roundhouse Kicks (394 votes)Rate it:12345

# 131Chuck Norris' only weakness is his balls. Too bad they're made of steel.
2.56 Roundhouse Kicks (1128 votes)Rate it:12345

# 308Once, Chuck Norris and Christopher Reeves were having a contest to see who was better. Chuck said he has been over 23 movies. Christopher Reeves said that he was Superman. Roundhouse Kick + Christopher Reeves' back = a crippled Christopher Reeves.
2.62 Roundhouse Kicks (362 votes)Rate it:12345

# 657The U2 song "Sunday Bloody Sunday" was written to depict the day of the week when Chuck Norris has sex with Irish women.
3.29 Roundhouse Kicks (293 votes)Rate it:12345

# 222Chuck Norris' Cunnilingus is equal to a 9.4 on the Richter scale.
3.25 Roundhouse Kicks (335 votes)Rate it:12345

# 647If you locked Chuck Norris in a room for six months with a guitar, he could make the perfect album. When asked why he doesn't do this, he responded, "Music is for idiots." To prove how serious he was about this statement, he swallowed a knife.
3.46 Roundhouse Kicks (354 votes)Rate it:12345

# 416The answer isn't 42, it's a roundhouse kick to the head.
2.81 Roundhouse Kicks (303 votes)Rate it:12345

# 601Chuck Norris decided to take his dog for a walk one day.....long story short, everyone died.
3.7 Roundhouse Kicks (376 votes)Rate it:12345

# 396If you looked up God in the dictionary, you would find half a photo of Chuck Norris. Chuck roundhouse kicked the other half of the dictionary to Australia.
2.59 Roundhouse Kicks (262 votes)Rate it:12345

# 143Before Chuck Norris came along, the Martial Arts were referred to merely as the Martial Crafts.
3.02 Roundhouse Kicks (402 votes)Rate it:12345

# 309Once while on a farm, Chuck Norris had a handfull of Cheerios. He accidentally dropped some and they were eaten by a chicken. Instead of exacting his revenge on the chicken he went into the coop and Roundhouse Kicked the nest, therefore creating scrambled eggs.
2.51 Roundhouse Kicks (291 votes)Rate it:12345

# 60When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
3.57 Roundhouse Kicks (450 votes)Rate it:12345

# 71Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1308 votes)Rate it:12345

# 359Chuck Norris took the Statue of Liberty out on a date, and got head on her parents' doorstep.
3.16 Roundhouse Kicks (356 votes)Rate it:12345

# 181While on a nature trek in Wasington State, Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on a rock and proceeded to deliver the tiny rock a roundhouse. This event is became known as the Mount St. Helens eruption of May 1980.
3.46 Roundhouse Kicks (336 votes)Rate it:12345

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