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Chuck Norris is God - ChuckNorrisIsGod.com

Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2726 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 94If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (1474 votes)Rate it:12345

# 138The reason "We have it our way" is because Chuck Norris is threatening to roundhouse kick Ronald McDonald if we don't.
3.17 Roundhouse Kicks (414 votes)Rate it:12345

# 411Chuck Norris uses Brownies to chock the wheels of his Hummer.
2.26 Roundhouse Kicks (326 votes)Rate it:12345

# 75Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
4.14 Roundhouse Kicks (1530 votes)Rate it:12345

# 90Deeming his too awesome for the world of mortal men or heaven, God attempted to destroy Chuck Norris by swallowing him. However Chuck Norris beat the shit out of God's insides, causing God to vomit him out. This led to the popular euphamism for vomiting, "Up-Chuck"
3.4 Roundhouse Kicks (473 votes)Rate it:12345

# 158When Chuck Norris allows women to have sex with them he pulls out and the women still have twins.
2.63 Roundhouse Kicks (401 votes)Rate it:12345

# 132Chuck Norris can lick his elbow and rhyme with orange at the same time.
3.97 Roundhouse Kicks (574 votes)Rate it:12345

# 204Chuck Norris roundhouse kick lessons are available at 412-874-8092.
1.89 Roundhouse Kicks (475 votes)Rate it:12345

# 149Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1064 votes)Rate it:12345

# 171The sun doesn't shine on Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris shines on the sun.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (397 votes)Rate it:12345

# 251Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a tree, which promptly burst into flames, inventing fire. When others tried to do the same, they were all met with a roundhouse kick followed by "ONLY CHUCK NORRIS CAN CREATE FIRE". But he eventually realized his wonderful creation and looks the other way when they make fire by rubbing two sticks together. But everyone who tried to do so via roundhouse kick has met a terrible fate...
2.4 Roundhouse Kicks (295 votes)Rate it:12345

# 533Chuck Norris is the reason Charles Xavier is crippled. No one invades Chuck Norris' mind except Chuck Norris.
3.92 Roundhouse Kicks (367 votes)Rate it:12345

# 384Chuck Norris was originally cast to play Willy Wonka in the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." When they were filming the last scene in the balloon, Chuck Norris decided he didn't want to give the factory to Charlie, deciding instead to roundhouse kick the shit out of Charlie and his uncle and then do a triple back flip out of the balloon. The entire movie had to be reshot with Gene Wilder. Norris subsequently disappeared for 2 years.
3.36 Roundhouse Kicks (327 votes)Rate it:12345

# 169Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at her and saying "boo-ya".
4.09 Roundhouse Kicks (641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 133Once Chuck Norris was sitting on a park bench. There were two guys with cell phones sitting there with him. The first guy had a Sprint phone, and the second guy had a Nextel phone. Both guys go "Hey, Chuck, you suck!" Then Chuck roundhouse kicked both of their faces at the same time. You know the rest.
1.82 Roundhouse Kicks (590 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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