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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2037 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3280 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2347 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1462 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1777 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2728 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 125They call it 9/11 because that is the ratio of Chuck Norris' ratio of roundhouse kicks to num-chucks he stores in his ass.
2.2 Roundhouse Kicks (488 votes)Rate it:12345

# 173Hockey players, football players, soldiers, and yes women, never had to wear pads before Chuck Norris was born.
3.59 Roundhouse Kicks (355 votes)Rate it:12345

# 398Chuck told Jesus to get off the cross; he needed a toothpick.
2.89 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 259Chuck Norris once entered a roundhouse kick contest, there were no survivors
3.39 Roundhouse Kicks (373 votes)Rate it:12345

# 139Chuck Norris' wet dreams are what we now know as tsunamis
3.77 Roundhouse Kicks (465 votes)Rate it:12345

# 160If you wake up in the middle of the night dead, you know for a fact that Chuck Norris has come to visit you in your sleep. And that he stole all of your beer, too.
2.88 Roundhouse Kicks (407 votes)Rate it:12345

# 500Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's Chip.
3.9 Roundhouse Kicks (560 votes)Rate it:12345

# 189The last person to catch smallpox was Chuck Norris. This was in 1977; today, smallpox lives in a crummy low-rent apartment in Central LA under an assumed name, goes to therapy twice a week, and still has nightmares about Chuck.
3.82 Roundhouse Kicks (428 votes)Rate it:12345

# 171The sun doesn't shine on Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris shines on the sun.
3.55 Roundhouse Kicks (397 votes)Rate it:12345

# 478Chuck Norris roundhoused Bruce Lee in "Return of the Dragon". Bruce was such an excellent kung fu master that he didn't actually die until 5 years later.
3.78 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 622The story of Noah and the Flood as told in the bible is not entirely accurate. It wasn't Noah and two of every animal on the Ark. It was Chuck Norris and one of every animal.
3.52 Roundhouse Kicks (376 votes)Rate it:12345

# 73Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
2.56 Roundhouse Kicks (545 votes)Rate it:12345

# 698CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD
2.29 Roundhouse Kicks (1205 votes)Rate it:12345

# 349The only man who can kill Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris, and even he would have trouble doing it.
4.17 Roundhouse Kicks (497 votes)Rate it:12345

# 453Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked my face so hard i turned into a priest called Father Walsh.
1.72 Roundhouse Kicks (361 votes)Rate it:12345

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