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Chuck Norris is God

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Top 10 Facts:
# 100A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
4.35 Roundhouse Kicks (2036 votes)Rate it:12345

# 83Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
4.28 Roundhouse Kicks (3279 votes)Rate it:12345

# 1Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)Rate it:12345

# 151Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)Rate it:12345

# 105Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
4.24 Roundhouse Kicks (3198 votes)Rate it:12345

# 178Chuck Norris lost his viginity before his dad did.
4.23 Roundhouse Kicks (1641 votes)Rate it:12345

# 196Mr. A once claimed that he's tougher than Chuck Norris. Upon hearing about this, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew 19 letters back in the alphabet, becoming Mr. T. Chuck Norris does not pity the fool.
4.22 Roundhouse Kicks (1461 votes)Rate it:12345

# 381In the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge, Chuck Norris chose Sprite...and he was right.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (1776 votes)Rate it:12345

# 536Scientists created Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sly Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vin Diesel, and Hulk Hogan by using urine samples from a toilet Chuck Norris once pissed in.
4.2 Roundhouse Kicks (620 votes)Rate it:12345

# 101Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
4.19 Roundhouse Kicks (2727 votes)Rate it:12345

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15 Random Facts: (more)
# 291Chuck Norris once built a space station out of debris from his beard. Upon completion, Norris roundhouse kicked it into space with him on it. Soon after, CATS showed up to steal Chuck's beard-station. Just before he could finish saying, "All your base are belong to us," CATS received a roundhouse kick to the face, sending him sailing into space. After that, Chuck said, "All your face are belong to Chuck!" CATS received severe brain damage from the incident, was rendered handicapped from the neck down, and now tries to earn an honest living as a florist.
2.34 Roundhouse Kicks (364 votes)Rate it:12345

# 142Chuck Norris invented water at about the same time as he invented Al Gore and the internet.
2.84 Roundhouse Kicks (412 votes)Rate it:12345

# 476Tornados are Chuck Norris doing spinning roundhouse kicks!
2.83 Roundhouse Kicks (295 votes)Rate it:12345

# 643School lockers were originaly created to keep a teenage Chuck Norris from taking your stuff; they failed miserably and now have to contain the one thing Chuck Norris hates in school. School equipment.
2.87 Roundhouse Kicks (326 votes)Rate it:12345

# 624Chuck Norris shaves his balls with a butter knife, because he can.
3.7 Roundhouse Kicks (379 votes)Rate it:12345

# 17Chuck Norris doesn't get diseases. Diseases get Chuck Norris.
3.7 Roundhouse Kicks (626 votes)Rate it:12345

# 305The name Norris is actually Chinese for "One Who Roundhouse Kicks"
3.03 Roundhouse Kicks (384 votes)Rate it:12345

# 124Chuck Norris once shoved a ficus-tree up his ass when he took a shit he made individual ficus-balls.
2.27 Roundhouse Kicks (377 votes)Rate it:12345

# 86There are super-advanced aliens ready to invade earth, they are waiting until Chuck Norris dies. They are not aware that Chuck Norris can not die.
4.1 Roundhouse Kicks (681 votes)Rate it:12345

# 21Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
2.73 Roundhouse Kicks (598 votes)Rate it:12345

# 262Chuck Norris doesn't go to church... Church comes to Chuck Norris.
3.54 Roundhouse Kicks (373 votes)Rate it:12345

# 534The only thing stronger than Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
2.91 Roundhouse Kicks (319 votes)Rate it:12345

# 282The Titanic movie was supposed to have a happy ending. However when Chuck Norris learned he had been beaten out for the starring role by Leonardo DiCaprio, he went back in time and roundhouse kicked a huge hole in the ship.
3.64 Roundhouse Kicks (348 votes)Rate it:12345

# 183When Chuck Norris was born, he had already had sex, three times.
3.74 Roundhouse Kicks (452 votes)Rate it:12345

# 27Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
4.15 Roundhouse Kicks (1102 votes)Rate it:12345

-- More Random Facts --

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